Grandma and Grandpa Bayer



Grandma Bayer in her kitchen

I'd like to continue my theme of "days gone by" by reminiscing about my mother's parents, Grandma and Grandpa Bayer. They lived in the outskirts of Woodruff on old Farming Road (not sure of the exact name of the road, but it was something like that).

We visited them most weekends, because they lived relatively close. But it was still a drive... lots of time spent looking out car windows. I remember that the farther north we travelled, the more the landscape would change... less maple and more spruce, pine, and cedar... lots of popple. And swamps.

MANY times on the way we'd sing "Over the river and through the woods, to Grandmother's house we go"-- repeatedly, with excitement. Grandma's house meant food and love. And it meant Grandma, whom I absolutely adored.

Their road was hilly and curvy. It forked two ways... to the left was their house, while the right would take you to the "warehouse" (the garbage dump where Grandpa worked). We'd turn left. One big final hill, the "tummy tickler", and we were there.

I remember their house being white, but in some early photos it had gray shingling. There was a detached garage between the house and garden that had deer antlers hung over the door. We'd enter by the back and I remember we had to climb a set of stairs that was dark and enclosed before reaching their kitchen door.



Grandpa playing cribbage with Bob and John

Inside the house was warm and the smells were good. Grandma would usually have a pot of her home-made spaghetti sauce bubbling on the stove. Grandpa and my uncles smoked, so the smell of cigarettes always mingled with the cooking smells, but it wasn't unpleasant. I thought of it as a cozy smell.

The little house was always cluttered with lots of stuff. There was an old wooden buffet in the kitchen with a variety of miscellaneous stuff on it (you can see it at right), but in particular I remember a little Buddha incense burner. I think I remember it because I was aware Dad didn't quite approve, but it was just a novelty item... Grandma was very Catholic.

There was a formica table that usually held lots of stuff in the middle. In particular I remember Grandma's bottle of liquid artificial sweetener. The stove seemed like the center of the kitchen, with Grandma usually standing over it, always wearing a house dress and apron. She had little wooden "Salty and Peppy" shakers and a crock of saved bacon grease  by the stove. The wallpaper was kind of sticky to the touch from her cooking efforts.

Her specialty was spaghetti and meatballs... I have NEVER tasted anything better. Sometimes it would be so hard to wait for the meal. If we whined enough she'd let us snack on buttered saltine cracker "sandwiches" during the wait.


Grandma and Grandpa with Jessie and Jarrod

Grandma was not very tall... about 5 feet only. After the dinner and dishes were done, she'd sit and relax. She had beautiful wavy silver hair that I would ask to comb out for her. She'd give me a red comb that was shaped like a fish skeleton (I have that comb now, and it's precious).  Sometimes she'd show me the contents of her purse, which I remember contained fascinating items like a little folded up rain scarf inside an envelope and a rectangular mirror that slid inside a plastic pocket (I will never forget the smell of that rubbery plastic. I wish I would smell it again... that would take me right back).

For me, "Grandma" meant unconditional love. She never got mad at me. She was someone to hug and sit by and she made me feel like I was really important. She had big, soft arms, that I thought of as my "pillows". She had a deep, warm voice that filled the room with her energy and spirit.

Her and Grandpa clearly loved each other very much. I'm not sure how I knew that... they weren't all lovey dovey. But it was just a quiet fact in the air, never doubted, just a given. He seemed so different than her... tall and thin, quiet, an outdoors kind of guy while Grandma was an in-the-house person. But she was his Betty and he was her Elton. I have one magical memory of them dancing the polka in the living room, with Lawrence Welk on.

What do I remember about Grandpa? That he loved to play cribbage and horseshoes. That he called our pine forest the "tall timbers". That he was proud of his garden and that he was a hard worker. I never saw him yell or get mad either. He liked to have a grandchild sitting on his lap. He seemed to especially like our little golden-haired Laurie. I remember thinking "Laurie's Grandpa's girl and I'm Grandma's girl."

I have one early memory of arriving at their house on a cold winter day. Grandpa was outside in front of the garage, gutting a rabbit. I had never seen that done before. I was somewhat alarmed by the gory aspect of it, but he was so matter-of-fact about it I understood it was a natural thing to do. And because it was winter, steam rose up from the inside of the just-killed rabbit. That's the part that mesmerized me. The effect was almost mystical, like the steam was the life of the rabbit, rising up and turning into air.

Off the side of the kitchen was a "utility room" where Grandma kept her electric organ. There was a washer, dryer, and ironing board in there, as well as a guest bed. I remember a calendar hanging on the wall.

The living room had a wood stove in the corner where you first came in, and when the stove was in use the living room got quite hot. They always kept their bedroom door shut so it stayed cold in there. I remember standing ashtrays in the living room and a shelf with knick-knacks including a little boy smiling with wild black hair added (he looked like my brother Don, and appropriately I think Mom gave the little statue to Don).



Grandma and Mom in Mom's shop

 There were a few special places we liked to play outside. There were "terraces" at the front of the house that were supposed to be off-limits to us because there was an old septic system somewhere there... but I remember picking berries in that area. There was an oak tree with a tire swing in the field. And there was a path through the woods that led to their neighbor Gary's house. I remember following Grandpa along the path a few times to visit Gary and Vernie and see their garden.

And then there were the uncles, my mom's brothers. Uncle David was the youngest and the one I saw most frequently. He was handsome and smart and often had a girlfriend around... I remember there was a Cathy and then a Jackie. He was always very nice to me and I thought of him as my "cool" uncle. Years later when he had Jenny and Josh I made sure I gave Jenny a lot of attention, remembering how nice Uncle David had been to me when I was little.

Sometimes Uncle Jimmy was there. A couple of times he embarrassed me by singing "Mona Lisa" when I entered the room (but I was secretly pleased). I was pretty shy of him because I didn't see him as often.

Uncle Chuck was sometimes there, visiting from Racine. He's the one who got me feeling proud of my Italian heritage. He was a great cook, too... though sometimes when he was making meatballs he'd fix himself a "cannibal sandwich" of raw hamburger and that seemed pretty icky. But he had great charisma and a warm, outgoing personality. We had a lot of fun playing with Michael and Paulie when they were there.

Uncle Donny had a house nearby and three sons-- Joel, Jessie, and Jarrod (spelling?). They were our usual playmates when we came for a visit. They were a little bit more wild than us but always fun to play with.

I don't remember Uncle Kenny directly... he died in a car accident when I was little. But a large picture of him was always prominent on their living room wall. He looked so handsome... he had Grandpa's bone structure and deep-set eyes, but the eyes themselves were soft and brown like Grandma's.

And then there were all the Great Aunts and Uncles that we sometimes saw. Above is a picture of Grandma's sister, my Great Aunt Laura, with Grandpa's sister Maude (and Grandpa at right). Mom explained that they're holding hands because this was taken after Grandma's funeral. I'm glad to see Grandpa had a smile on his face in the photo, but he didn't live long after Grandma's passing... only about a year. Grandma had had heart trouble so her death wasn't entirely unexpected, but Grandpa had always seemed fit and healthy to me, so it was a big shock. But he was lonely. I remember visiting him after Grandma had died, and noticed that the house was now neat as a pin... but it felt empty.

I wish I could have gotten to know all of these relatives, especially my grandparents, as an adult. But I am lucky to have so many warm childhood memories of them. These memories are more about smells, colors, and feelings, but they will stay with me forever. Such a wonderful time. I wonder what parts of their childhoods my own children will remember.